Actors
Moishe, an actor is so down and out, he's ready to take any acting  gig that he can find.


Finally, he gets a lead, a classified ad that says, "Actor needed to  play an ape."


"I could do that," says Moishe.


To his surprise, the employer turns out to be the Central Park Zoo  in New York.


Owing to the mismanagement, the zoo has spent so much money  renovating the grounds and improving the habitat, they can no longer  afford to import the ape to replace the recently deceased one, so,  until they can, they'll put an actor in an ape suit.


Out of desperation, Moishe takes the offer.


At first, his conscience keeps nagging him, that he is being  dishonest by fooling the zoo-goers. Moishe also feels undignified in  the ape suit, stared at by the crowds who watch his every move.


But after a few days on the job, he begins to enjoy all the  attention and starts to put on a show for all the zoo-goers.


Moishe hangs upside down from the branches by his legs, swinging  about on the vines, climbing up the cage walls and roaring with all  his might, while beating on his chest.


Soon, he's drawing a sizable crowd.


One day, when Moishe is swinging on the vines to show off to a group  of school kids, his hand slips and he goes flying over the fence  into the neighboring cage, the lion's den.


Terrified, Moishe backs up as far from the approaching lion as he  can, covers his eyes with his paws and prays at the top of his  lungs, "Shema Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu, Adonai Echad!" *


The lion opens his powerful jaws and roars the response, "Baruch  Shem K'vod Malchuto L'olam Va'ed" *


From a nearby cage, a panda yells, "Shut up you schmucks, you'll get  us all fired! "
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Kinkajous, affectionately known as honeybears, are lovely animals that are members of the same family as raccoons. They primarily eat fruit and are generally quite docile and sweet, although they also have a reputation for being messy and sometimes noisy...read more
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"Places to look: behind the books in the bookshelf, any cupboard with a gap too small for any cat to squeeze through, the top of anything sheer, under anything too low for a cat to squash under and inside the piano."--Roseanne Ambrose-Brown

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